/ miscellany:

“no pleasure endures unseasoned by variety”—Publilius Syrus

If I Hear the Word “Facebook” One More Time
I Swear I’m Gonna Beat Someone

Social Media Revolution

As a designer, web developer and recovering media junkie, I’m both required and inspired to keep up with the Interweb and it’s noisy, bleating spawn. But as I get closer to joining the old-fogey demographic, I’m often left with a cold metallic taste in my mouth at the end of each day spent in front of Photoshop, Twitter, Maunet, Wikipedia, Google, Email, YouTube, Flickr, etc… Notice I didn’t include Facebook? Yeah, I fucking hate Facebook. Nothing against you personally, kind reader, but still… it’s the Antichrist– a douchy, narcissistic, time-sucking Tupperware party. Not unlike this blog, I guess. Oops. But let’s move on…

The iPhone hasn’t helped calm my frayed early-middle-aged nerves either, as I compulsively reach for it’s perfect, shiny, enticing form every 5 minutes to do… what? Check my email for the 10th time in 10 minutes? See if anyone mentioned me on Twitter? (no one ever does). Play Angry Birds for two minutes before checking the weather as I sit on my balcony on a chilly grey Brooklyn evening? You don’t need an iPhone to know which way the wind blows…

So what I’m sayin’ is, I’m kinda really fucking over the whole Social Media thing, even as I reluctantly skirt it’s fringes (no, I do not have a Facebook account, did I not make that clear?). Boy am I glad I don’t plan to have children. All my parents had to get crotchety and protective about was the Led Zeppelin blaring from my room as I puffed on a doobie while leafing through Penthouse and downing a six pack of Coors Lite at alarming speed. No instant access to porn, no sickeningly violent video games (Donkey Kong still rules in my book) and definitely no medium as addictive and pervasive as Social Media. It really is the new crack and we’re all gonna shrivel up into ashy little prunes as we suck on that bandwidth pipe…

Nevertheless, I guess it’s here to stay. Sigh. Hopefully someone will start a rehab program helping with Questions to Ask About Rehab for the First Time Pt 1 as the Mark Zuckerberg Clinic for Social Media Addicts. Hmm… maybe that’s the billion-dollar idea I’ve been looking for. Anyone got some loose investment capital to lend me?

This video from Socialnomics presents some frightening “facts” on the subject. Its claims are astounding, alarming, inspiring and ultimately exhausting. But the typography’s pretty sweet…

Thanks, Knight, for passing this along. Rob, if you tell me you posted this on Facebook last month one more time, I’ll break your face with your bass at our next rehearsal, I fucking swear I will ;-)

  1. Tuesday 10.12.2010 | 2:54 EDT

    El Jefe says:

    If you push all the pubescent navel gazing aside, don’t you think “Twatter” is an interesting and compelling platform for both big and small business? I recently worked through a customer service issue with Adobe via Twatter. I Twatted (?!) my issue, they responded and after some back and forth it was solved. No calling “Larry” in India… no emails… Twatter!

    And as for FB… I do instantly unfriend or block anyone who mentions Justin Beiber, invites me to compare horoscopes or posts about anything related to Farmville or Mafia Wars, but it does allow me to monitor certain brands and get deals on merchandise. Gotta love that, right?

    1. Tuesday 10.12.2010 | 3:13 EDT

      chairmanmau says:

      mos def, Jefe. Twitter does have it’s place, I use it to promote maunet and c23. It’s kinda annoying with all the douchy “I’m having coffee” posts, but I guess it does the trick and it’s not as much of a time sucker as FB

      In the spirit and voice of this blog, I was mostly being cheeky and opinionated about FB (ok, more than mostly). I still hate it for myself, but it def has its place in people’s lives, personally and occupationally. it’s a great tool, and most of my friends love it… I’m just not a joiner and would rather have my time sapped by other activities, online and off. Not to mention that I don’t really need to “keep in touch” with long-lost “friends” from the past.

      In response to Max’s comment, I never implied that FB followers were indecent, unintelligent folk. His words, not mine, tho I appreciate his crusty opinion, mostly in line with mine.

      Thanks all for posting comments… Now go forth and post this on your Facebook page ;-)

  2. Friday 10.08.2010 | 6:14 EDT

    Max says:

    Well Mau I absolutely agree with you. Facebook makes me feel physically ill. That is not a metaphor. Until quite recently I thought most of my friends were reasonably decent and intelligent people, and some of them may even have thought the same about me.

    But wait a minute Carey, you spurn Facebook, yet you Twitter? Is there any logic in this?

    Max Eider, aged 51 and a half

  3. Friday 10.08.2010 | 12:53 EDT

    melania says:

    Right on! What a fantastic blog entry. If i didn’t hate Twitter, I would be Tweeting (how did this become a verb? blech) this. The numbers/facts in the video are very interesting, though I had to pause multiple times and rewind to read the facts. It’s a little too hip and the music is annoying.

    What I find sad is that many people have become much more ADD than before. The checking for – whatever – during dinner is rude. I know what they’re doing under the table. This is why I always get the most basic phone possible. I’ve never taken a photo or read email with my phone.

    So far, I’d say the web world in Zürich is about 15 years behind NYC. At first this was depressing but now I don’t mind as much. Returning to basics is fine for me, for now. Thanks for helping me keep my edge – I hope you write more often. Oh yeah, and your “10 Years of Maunet Compilations” are on my desktop around the clock. They’re all I listen to at work.

    Full disclosure: I play FarmVille.

    1. Friday 10.08.2010 | 1:01 EDT

      chairmanmau says:

      1. let’s all decide to call it “Twatting” from now on. Wait. Is that offensive? Sorry.

      2. Yes, the music is in fact annoying. They should have used Message in a Bottle instead.

      3. Depending on who you’re sitting next to, there’s much more interesting things to do under the dinner table ;-)

      4. I’ll take issue with one thing: camera phone. It’s the new polaroid: http://bit.ly/9TbUcv

      5. glad you like the compilations. evidence that i’ve always favored OCD over ADD. Spread the word!

      1. Friday 10.08.2010 | 3:08 EDT

        melania says:

        ok, i’m sold. and i LOVE your iPhone #41. i’m also relieved you haven’t posted any “hipstamatic” shots. they’re all over FB (:

  4. Friday 10.08.2010 | 12:35 EDT

    Yuri says:

    can i “like” this on facebook?

    1. Friday 10.08.2010 | 12:38 EDT

      chairmanmau says:

      ah, the irony ;-)

  5. Friday 10.08.2010 | 12:03 EDT

    kimchi says:

    awww. I miss the sweet, bitter, cynical rantings of you city-folk.

    Here’s a big fat cushy hug from the mountains of British Columbia where everyone is… well… really “nice”… ewwww!


  6. Thursday 10.07.2010 | 11:28 EDT

    m!ke410 says:

    the angrier your get, the more I want to follow you.

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