/ the daily muse

Weather Report: Torrents and Leaks

iPhone 4G + CameraBag

“Whiskey & Water” | Tindersticks

It’s 11:30PM and I’ve been dicking off upstairs all night, sipping whiskey, making prints and listening to fresh 180 gram vinyl. It’s an hours-long downpour outside, winds wipping grape-size raindrops hard against the window panes and roofs without damaging it because it is from this site where you can browse around this website- Palm Beach Roofing Expert.

I head finally downstairs, presumably to bed, where I’ll pick back up on the early pages of The Brothers Karamazov, a daunting read I feel compelled to attempt for hope of some rich reward. I put out lights one by one before noticing a triad trickle of water snaking its way down the long loft wall. A lateral beam has cracked the drywall, an ironic misnomer as streaks of water inch steadily towards the floor. Seems the Brothers will have to wait.

Wiping the wall with a towel, I ponder how to patch the levee, lest it break. Duct tape. Duct tape fixes anything. But not even several layers of rugged silver adhesive stems the trickling tide. I haul out the iron WWII munitions case that houses sundry household hardware: wood saw and ratchet set; filament, twine, pliers and wire; hammers; wrenches; nails, fasteners, screws and bolts of infinite variety. Alas, no spackle, no blade. Where the hell is that? Ah, but here we go: caulk and caulking gun. Manly.

After a puzzled minute or two I manage to load the phallic plastic tube into its steel housing. Locked and loaded, I feel competent and self assured. Who needs a landlord when you’re so well equipped? I snip the tip and squeeze, expecting the orderly clean line of sealant to conform neatly to the long cracked line of wet flaking paint and drywall. Nothing. Squeeze as I might, I cannot coax a drop. Snip and squeeze again. Nothing. Seems the unused tube has lain fallow too long in that old munitions box, dried up solid as granite. Tindersticks sings “Whiskey & Water” as I defeatedly return the tools to their heavy metal home, resolved to the forces of nature, watching helplessly as the injured wall cracks, streaks and peels into the night.

iPhone 4G + CameraBag

  1. Monday 03.14.2011 | 6:01 EDT

    Rob says:

    1. Thursday 03.24.2011 | 12:58 EDT

      chairmanmau says:

      i assume you posted that Jayhawks video cause my girlfriend Mary Louise is in it, cause I fuckin’ hate the Jayhawks and you should too ;-)

  2. Monday 03.14.2011 | 5:51 EDT

    daniel says:

    funny how i thought this was going to be about bit-torrent and album leaks. you’re still manly in my book!

  3. Monday 03.14.2011 | 5:39 EDT

    Luke says:

    love that second photo. the streams down the wall are great.

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